What Does It Take to Be a Centenarian?: An Ode to Mary Kowalski

What does it take to live to be 100… AKA… a centenarian? The internet is teeming with self-proclaimed experts who have an idea or two. Get 150 minutes of cardio a week with plenty of strength training and a few bouts of HIIT! Don’t eat meat! Only eat meat! Absolutely no sugar! It’s all about macros! Morning sunshine! Cold plunge! Sauna! Limit stress! Have enough acute stress! Regulate your hormones! And of course buy these supplements… here’s a link….

Mary Kowalski, my grandmother, lived to be 103 years old. If you would have given her any of the above advice, she would have pulled a face with a “pshhhhh” flick of the wrist before taking a sip of wine and going in for her 3rd Russel Stouffer truffle.

She was a specimen of a human. As a daughter of Polish immigrants, she was gifted (or perhaps) cursed with an extraordinary work ethic and was a fighter to her core. Her parents, who spoke broken-English, at best worked day and night to create a life that was better than the one they escaped. It was the American Dream in its purest form. If I work hard, I can make a life for myself.

And she did just that.

She married Steven Kowalski, also a son of Polish immigrants, and their life story is emblematic of why people risked and are still risking it all to come to the United States. They bought a house and had children. He supported the family as a clarinetist for the US Army Band while she cooked, cleaned, gardened, sewed, raised the kids, and worked in a department store when she could. They rarely went out to eat, hardly went on vacation, and only bought new things when the old things were beyond repair. But there was always food on the table and they had enough to live comfortably for their entire lives.

The immigrant mentality shaped my grandma into a feisty lady with a sharp tongue and hard-edged attitude that only offered empathy when she deemed it due. And it rarely was. She lived through the Great Depression, World War II, the Cold War, the Women’s Rights Movement, the Civil Rights Movement, and the Vietnam War. Nothing was ever an excuse for not tending to the garden, cooking dinner, and keeping the house in tip top shape. “I hate my job!”, “I feel depressed…”, “I don’t feel fulfilled” were luxurious problems to have that earned no condolences from Mary Kowalski.

The life experiences that chiseled her hard edges also blessed her with an appreciation of pleasure. She loved to dance, paint, play cards, eat good food, drink wine, and listen to music. I have fond memories of dancing around their living room with Polka records blaring as the adults played Pinochle. Yelling, laughter, and plenty of “what a knucklehead play!!” flitted through the air in a glorious game of uproar where everyone was quick to snap, but quick to forgive.

My grandma worked hard, enjoyed life, and was amazingly healthy for the majority of her life.

No chronic health issues. Rarely on any sort of medications. Cognitively with-it well into her 90s. Walking until she was 102. She forgot who people were, but she never lost her feisty spirit, love for music, or her faith in the Catholic church.

I never recall her opining over how to live longer, so I’ve taken the task upon myself. Not only because many people have an obsession with becoming a centenarian, but because it’s a testament to who Mary Kowalski was as a person.

1. She ate balanced diet and had good genes

When I was a kid, we’d take a monthly trip up to Arlington to see my grandparents. Without fail, my grandma would whip up a homemade meal. Stroganoff, stuffed cabbage, spaghetti, and a roast with potatoes and vegetables were on the heavy rotation. There was almost always a homemade cake for dessert. My mom has confirmed that fresh fruits and vegetables were prioritized in the Kowalski household.

I don’t remember my grandma ever talking about being on a diet. But I do recall her unabashedly sharing her thoughts on physiques that were high on the BMI scale. (The GI Generation through the boomers are notoriously outspoken in their opinions on other people’s bodies.) My grandma ate good food and was always considered a “healthy weight.” And while she enjoyed her sugary treats and wine, it was always in moderation.

You can eat a great diet and still face major health complications, or you can have a horrible diet and be perfectly fine. But scientific research shows that limiting caloric intake is usually correlated with positive health outcomes including lower blood pressure, lower cholesterol, less inflammation, and improved mitochondrial health, just to name a few.

Mary Kowalski had astoundingly great biomarkers and had a health span most people would be envious of. She had no idea was a “keto diet” was, couldn’t have cared less about seed oils, and I guarantee she knew nothing about macros. But she ate a diet centered around whole foods, and undoubtedly had superb genetics that aided in her impressive life span.

2. She worked hard and moved her body every day.

My grandma was rarely idle. Cooking, cleaning, gardening, walking. If there was a spare minute in the day, you better believe she was doing something. And she would lay criticism onto anyone who loafed around.

She didn’t strength train, do HIIT workouts, or any of the other movement practices health gurus say you should be doing each week. But she did move her body continuously throughout the day doing tasks humans evolved to do.  She’d always say, “If you don’t use it, you’ll lose it!” And she notoriously went for long walks to get scratch cards while living in an assisted living facilities in Arlington for the first part of her 90s.

In fact, she kept walking until she fell and broke her hip at 102 years old.  She miraculously survived, but her advice rang true— she could no longer use it, so she lost it.

3. She was unwavering in her faith, which made her unwavering in her life purpose.

As my grandma creeped up into her upper 90s, she forgot where she was, what her life story was, and who people were. But she never forgot her faith. She was born and raised in a Catholic household, and she was deeply religious until the day she died. She never questioned if there was an afterlife, and she fully accepted that her life was in God’s hands. The nurse said she was saying the rosary just days before she passed. I myself am not religious, but that fact moves me to tears.

Her faith gave her community and comfort, and with the passing of each loved one in her life, she said with the utmost conviction that she’d see them again soon. Her purpose was to be a devout Catholic, to raise her children, and to be a good wife. And she was completely fulfilled by that.

While the benefits of diet and movement can be substantiated with data, linking fulfillment to longevity is tricky. But I full-heartedly believe that my grandma’s strong conviction in her faith and in her purpose played a role in her cracking 100 years.

4. She had unbreakable tenancy and grit.

At the end of the day, my grandma was a fighter. No matter what happened, she pushed through and she pushed forward, and her will power to live never wavered. And even into her final years she found little pieces of joy every single day. Whether it was beautiful flowers, a bright blue sky, someone playing the piano, or laughter, there was always something she deemed worth living for.

Mary Kowalski was a marvelous woman who lived a long, healthy, purposeful life.

I believe that on January 23rd, 2026, she simply decided she was finally ready to let go. I miss her. But it brings me great peace to know that at 103 years old, she went on her own terms. So cheers to you, Mary Kowalski. I know you have found peace, and I hope you are up in heaven listening to polka music and playing pinochle with the people you love.