My stomach always knows how I feel before my consciousness can catch up.
Nerves, stress, and anxiety are realized via cramps, knots, all sorts of noises, and less than satisfactory digestion even though “I” might feel calm, cool and collected. It’s been that way as long as I can remember; The morning of the SATs, big dance competitions, job interviews, recent elections…
The familiar pings started up on the day I planned to get my COVID vaccine. “I” felt fine, excited even! Perhaps I was nervous my walk-in wouldn’t go as planned? Maybe my sub-conscious was buying into anti-vax hype without my conscious permission? Or maybe it was simply in anticipation of the momentous moment?
Regardless, I put on my headphones and made my way to the vaccine site.
Australia’s vaccine rollout has been described as more of a “stroll-out” rather than a “roll-out.” As of July 7th, there have only been 8.26M doses given with just 1.88 M fully vaccinated, which is 7.4% of the population.
While there has been quite the uptick in just the past week, what gives in the slow starting roll out? The health economist Stephen Duckett breaks it down into 4 reasons. (Click HERE for the article.)
- The initial slow pace: The government started the vaccine rollout with the approach that it was “a marathon, not a sprint.”
- The wrong phasing: Phase 1a, which included health care workers, high-risk adults, and other front liners, was not completed before the next phase began.
- The wrong model: “Mass vaccination requires mass vaccination centers.” Yet, at the beginning, vaccines were only being distributed by GPs.
- The wrong messaging: Failure of the government to admit mistakes, flip-flopping on AstraZeneca restrictions, and missing opportunities for mass campaigns to encourage vaccinations and fight hesitancy.
Other sources (click HERE and HERE) indicate that supply issues, distribution issues, and vaccine hesitancy are also blame.
Despite a slow roll-out, Brisbane is a locale where you can snag a jab on a walk-in basis, so you better believe I was going to get mine!
My Experience
I arrived at the hospital just before 9:30am on June 28th, and was surprised to see quite the crowd. Three weeks prior, Jeremy reported that there was hardly anyone there as he strolled on up and got his vaccine 30 minutes later.
I headed up to the walk in line, was handed a “9:30am” sticker along with some paperwork, and was told to have a seat on the concrete benches to the side. You see, I didn’t meet eligibility requirements at this point in the roll out. (Click HERE for the 411 on Queensland vaccine eligibility.)
Let the Waiting Commence
9:30am, 10:00am…..Finally the first batch of walk-ins was called. “All walk-ins with an 8:20 or 8:30 sticker come with me!” Shit. I had already done the Sunday crossword and had sufficiently scrolled through social media. Would I be getting my jab in 30 minutes? 4 hours? Never? Patience is not my forte.
A seemingly endless stream of people with appointments kept on joining the queue, cycling through the plastic waiting chairs. By 10:30am, all walk-ins were being turned away. I was happy to see so many people eager to get vaccines, but worried I might not be getting mine.
10:30am, 11:00am, 11:30am…. “Walk-ins with 9:00am stickers come this way!” SHIT. Then a uniformed man came over, looked at the 9:30am sticker on my shirt and said “you can come too.” A sigh of relief came with those familiar stomach pings.
I queued up in the check-in line, worried that I would be sent home given my tourist status. “Next!” I walked up and babbled, “I don’t have a medicare card and I’m not Australian!!” The woman kindly said that it was no problem. She took down my passport information, gave me details on how to get my online vaccine card, scheduled my next appointment, and sent me off with a nurse to get my jab.
Australian health care is amazing!
The nurse asked me questions about allergies, if I had any recent vaccines, and if I was pregnant or might become pregnant. No, no, definitely no. She told me to take a deep breath as she administered the shot into my arm.
I sat in a waiting room for 15 minutes to be monitored for side effects, and was sent on my way.
I said I was fine with a smile, but the truth is that I did feel strange…
Physically, I was okay. Emotionally, I spiraled into over drive as the feelings of euphoria, empowerment, guilt, and total befuddlement consumed me.
No one gave me the disclaimer: extreme emotional side effects may occur.
One second I was at risk of getting this thing that has totally changed my life, and the very next I was on my way towards immunity. The two seconds that needle was in my arm was all it took. How could it be that quick? A year ago I was working on the New York front line where the vaccine seemed as mystical as a unicorn. I would have never guessed a vaccine would have even existed by June 2021, let alone that I’d be getting mine.
COVID has caused so much death, loss, pain, and hardship. Thinking about it instilled a deep sadness. Realizing that I snagged a jab despite being young and healthy added on a layer of guilt. Who am I to waltz in and get my vaccine when there are so many people who are more at risk than me? I furiously reconciled the guilt by telling myself that every single jab is one step towards a healthy, safe world. Relief returned once more.
I was left feeling emotional battered and raw.
What About Vaccine Risks and Uncertainties?
Is it unprecedented that the vaccine was made so quickly? Is it strange knowing that the mRNA vaccine has taught my cells something new? Are there risks of side effects? All the answers are yes.
But you know what’s also odd? Consuming poison via an alcoholic beverage. Being prescribed all types of pills to “fix” everything from blood pressure to pain. Eating foods that are covered in pesticides and pumped with GMOs. Driving cars and supporting businesses that are polluting the air and ocean which is hurting our lungs and killing the environment.
Every day I am eating, breathing, or swallowing something that could hurt me in the future. Why would draw the line at this vaccine?
As with with everything, certain people have conditions that means the vaccine could cause more harm than good. But I am not one of those people. Sure, I could get some rare heart disease or have some crazy side effect. If I strip away my emotions, look at the data, and sift through misinformation, it quickly becomes apparent that the odds are in my favor.
I wasn’t expecting my COVID jab to cause such a profound emotional reaction.
The jab in my arm was so much more than protection. It was a symbol of hope and progress. The battle is slowly being won, and oh man will the victory taste sweet.
7 thoughts on “My COVID Jab: An Unexpected Side Effect They Didn’t Warn Me About…”
I felt unstoppable after mine!
Congrats. The vaccine is liberating.
I wasn’t expected to feel so free aferwards!
Same! I didn’t realize how much anxiety I’d been harboring until it suddenly vanished after my first dose.
I felt the same way. I had to resist the urge to hug the gal who gave me the vaccine. Then I cried all the way home. Tears of pure relief.
Hey sorry catching up on a lot of posts it seems! Great job! Did you get AZ?
I managed to get Pfizer!